Saturday, July 02, 2005

Also 

Remind me to tell you about my amazing family: uncle L the quadruple divorcee, uncle T who's dating a woman his daughter's age, post-traumatic-disordered uncle D who died recently, aunt T who is only half and was possibly a pinko, my proud and intelligent but now senile and screaming grandfather, my grandmother who's the only proper grown up I know but who, alas, has spoiled me rotten, my father the humanitarian activist without an interest in human relationships, cousin V the drop-out druggie. That's just the paternal side. On the maternal side, there's my mother, business-smart but corrosively bitter and petty, my grandmother who wants my love without the effort and time that comes with it, uncle M who, at a family gathering when I was about 5, drunkenly waved a knife around threatening to kill someone, I forget who, uncle N who slapped his daughter at like age 21, uncle L the good one who died in vuot bien, great-aunt T the bankrupt, great-aunt F the rich miser and hypochondriac, great-aunt B the infertile one who looks at me too hungrily, because I'm the age her daughter would've been, great-aunt C who's my mother's age and takes pleasure in undermining her confidence, cousin T who married god forbid a Lebanese, cousin L who openly and irrationally hates great-aunt T, cousin L2 who has a feud with cousin J. Then there are the steps: L3, homewrecker (and I could say worse), H, doctor who hates his patients and incredibly inept father, H2, son of H, manslaughterer, his neglectful gambling-addicted mother, uncle H3 the loaded doctor whose only pleasure is gambling and boasting about his money and thinks fatherhood involves buying expensive toys and paying for tutoring, his wife R who, though also loaded, doesn't have any proper food in her house, aunt L, who pushes her 10yo academically to breaking point, said daughter who's too precocious for her own good, the evil grandmother who is the terror of the entire clan, cousin C who's probably a virgin at like 26. Then there's me, whose neuroses and faults have probably been made far too clear over the past couple of years. Or not, since I dissimulate well.

Divorce upon divorce, feuds, bitching, gloating, deaths, drama, money, money, money.

# posted at 9:34 pm

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