Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Signs 

-You bawl BEFORE Hector dies in Troy
-You bawl because of your bloody Economics problem
-Reading your law text makes you teary

Hormones. Sigh.

Here's a half-arsed review of Troy, by the way, to compensate for the inevitable weepiness and bitchiness to come.
Written on the 15th, immediately after seeing the movie.


After much perseverance - both cinemas prior to Bankstown were full! - I finally managed to see Troy. Now, I must confess that despite being a Latin student for six years, I didn’t really know the story. We did Bk II of the Aeneid, which was just about the end with the horse and all (I CAN'T believe they fell for that, gods be damned).

Man, it’s late and I can’t be bothered with coherence and a scholarly review. Instead, I present you: Thoughts from Troy (not the place, the movie, duh).

-Hah, sex joke within the first ten minutes. Glad we got that out of the way.
-Damn, that was a cool flying leap. Thank god they didn’t use bullet time.
-Face that launched a thousand ships, my ass. Orlando is even prettier than her.
-Nooooo, turn back, turn back, Hector! I don’t care if that cuts the whole movie to five minutes!
-Stupid, stupid Paris.
-Woo! Go Hector! Wait, this isn’t right.
-Where are the hobbits?
-Oh please, not the “warrior preparing to die” music.
-Wouldn’t it be funny if they all put on a Greek accent? “Loike, we’ll meet again, bro.”
-Priam and Achilles, sitting in a tree…um, don’t mind me
-Have I been pronouncing “Menelaus” wrong all this time?
-What a coincidence. Right in the heel.
-Hey look, Aeneas! With daddy in tow!
-Stupid, stupid Trojans. Who looks at a giant unexplained horse and thinks, “hm, let’s go WORSHIP IT”?
-Does this mean there’ll be a movie edition of the Iliad book? “Based on Homer’s best-selling epic song…”
-We’ve had the 60s, 70s and 80s comebacks, when will we see the 1000BC comeback? Those are some sexy tunics.
-How original. Orlando as a crack archer. Brad Pitt semi-naked all the time. Eric Bana as a green monster. What? I'm serious.

# posted at 12:20 am

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