Thursday, April 29, 2004

Warning: serious angst ahead 

Do you know how tiring it is to have an existential crisis every day?

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not knowing who I am or what I like or what I want to do with my life. I'm sick of constantly questioning what's wrong with me, why can't I just be friendly and passionate and funky like the normal people around me. I'm sick of constantly wondering what the point of it all is and wishing I could just escape. I hate feeling as if my grip on the world is so tenuous, the smallest push could send me falling into some dark hole. I hate being disinterested in everything. I hate looking into the future and feeling nothing but a gut-wrenching fear. I hate feeling as if I'm an anomymous non-person, a robot, a mannequin, just surviving and waiting for something to happen. I hate being in a 40, 000 strong crowd and still feeling alone.

There was more, but I'll spare you.

# posted at 9:15 pm

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