Tuesday, November 11, 2003

When I was your age, I already composed 12 symphonies! 

Crap, only 3 more months left to become a grandmother, invent a football code, and run away to sea. via Mefi

Bah, it's not like the world needs more symphonies anyway. I've got more important things to accomplish, such as...
-Learning to write without getting crap on my hands. Right now, I am sporting 10 ink blots and I just drew on my pants by accident. Oops.
-Learning to crack eggs without getting crap on my hands and shell in the bowl.
-Learning to squeeze lemons without getting crap on my hands
-Learning to eat without getting crap on my hands, face, fellow diners, the floor, passersby, etc.
-Learning to cook anything that doesn't come from a packet.
-Learning to dance. So far, my only move is the "nod" and it goes like this: nod. nod. nod. If I'm lucky, it's in time with the music.

However, I'm not a total failure. Here's what I have accomplished:
-!t00W .sdrawkcab etirw nac I
-I can play 3 bars of "Asturias". Only 120 to go.
-Can whistle like nobody's business. You need a whistlin', come to me.
-Once used the word "ass" in a literary essay. Legitimately, even.

Take that, Mendelssohn.

# posted at 5:07 pm

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